


In the end (it was easy)

by sweetandweary



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetandweary/pseuds/sweetandweary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She's not just a girl and he is a vampire but they never were a pop song anyway" or snapshots in time of Elena growing up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the end (it was easy)

In the rare moments when Elena is being honest with herself she can admit that the attraction had been instantaneous - a primal, intense urge to lean in and taste that crooked smile that had sent slivers of heat coiling down her body.

* * *

She gets to know him, finds out how merciless and impulsive Damon actually is and it becomes easier to hide away her desire for him in a corner of her mind and heart, the same corner where she keeps the memories of her parents. Those are broken, sharp and always kept in the shadows for the handling of those makes her ache in a way she thought she was over with the last time she wept over their graves. It fits then, that Damon belongs there, hidden from the world, locked away in silence and despair. He belongs with the things she can't have.

* * *

She lets herself fall more and more in love with Stefan (it’s almost too easy). He is her safeguard from the world; he makes her feel loved and cherished. With him Elena lets herself be careless again, for a few stolen hours here and there, learning how to laugh again, how to love someone despite the fear that they will be taken away (she gets to know Damon even better than the other brother).  
Damon is always there, on the periphery, both in person and in her head, a presence she doesn't know what to do with. She learns that there is humanity behind the cruelty, a human soul so scarred that hiding behind the mask of a heartless monster is the better option, and she is fascinated by that (him).

Only Damon is the kind of creature who could hold on to a love that is not even his, hold on to one person for decades despite the fact that Katherine is holding on to Stefan in just the same way. She has never loved anyone the way Damon loves a memory and she feels _jealous_.

* * *

Everything goes to hell, once again, as things in Mystic Falls tend to do. Katherine is back, Damon snaps and Jeremy dies. Damon breaks his neck (after Katherine does the same to his heart) in a fit of pure rage, spite and agony. Elena hates him in that instant, but the feeling is so fleeting that for the first time she feels afraid that it is her who is starting to lose the grip on her humanity.

* * *

Alliances change, betrayals and redemptions are thrown around like a cheap currency, battles are fought and there is so much death that Elena actually wishes she had no humanity left to spare.

* * *

In the aftermath Elena is genuinely surprised to find that she has survived. She is tougher, even _more_ broken and no longer inclined to let things happen to her. For the first time she is no longer afraid. When Damon challenges her now she doesn't back down and to her delight she finds that instead of her giving up it is Damon who is giving in.

He starts to let the cracks and fault lines show, only to her, and she isn't sure at first whether it is a slip on his part or a deliberate move but she is still caught by this shift because it might not move the continents, but it does change her.

* * *

She still keeps it her dirty little secret, that when she is alone in the dark, just before falling asleep, she imagines how it would feel if Damon’s arms where around her, if he was whispering in her ear and making her whole body shiver. She knows it's dangerous to entertain these thoughts, but it's hard to keep them away and sometimes even Stefan is not enough. She had denied it before, because Stefan had to be everything, but knowing that Damon is interested right back it is a heady feeling, one that tingles down her spine and curls her toes, leaving her warm all over.

* * *

Lately, when she dreams of Damon’s body pressing up against her she also hears him whisper promises that are sweet like honey and stick against her like pure maple syrup. In the morning (after the nights that are haunted by the wrong brother) she always feels distracted and unsettled, like something is not right with the reality she is living in, despite how everyone seems to think she's the one who's out of rhythm.  
Things with Stefan become tense, not because he has changed, but because she has, in some interminable way that has left her with the need to stand for herself instead of hiding. All the deaths and sadness have taken their toll, but instead of snapping she simply adjusts her world view. She grows up.

Stefan wants to keep her safe and love her, but Damon lets her be alive and be cared for in a way that makes her feel so out of her depth that she feels like drowning every time his gaze falls on her. It's not rational and not what should be happening, but somewhere between the moment with Stefan on the Ferris wheel and the glimpses of what Damon can be when talks to her instead of the world, she figures out that maybe it’s what she wants.

* * *

She is finally ready to admit that she’s in love with Damon.

_The End._


End file.
